Savor The Moment

All day long I hurry to and fro.  Get up in a hurry, throw my jacket on, jam my feet into my tennis shoes, grab the leases and I’m off with two excited dogs dragging me down the road while I try to keep up on not enough sleep and no coffee yet.  My days seem to fly by in one big blur lately. I work non-stop all day, answering phones, questions, emails, managing my team and this exhausting project we are working on…giving all my energy to a job that I know is just a stepping stone to what I really want.  My days feel like they rush past me and with shooting on the weekends, my Saturdays and Sundays are starting to feel like that too.  Sometimes I find myself wanting life to just hurry up.  Even in the middle of all this chaos, I still feel like I know what I want to do, I just want to get there already.  Over and over again a slightly frustrated and  if I can be completely honest somewhat whiny voice repeats, “okay life, hurry up, I’m there.. I know what I want to do.  Can you just make me a photographer already?…Hello, anyone listening, I’m ready!”

So today as I was sitting in my truck at lunch, taking what felt like the first deep breath I’d had all day and I thought, one day I’m going to look back and smile at this crazy ride I’m on.  B and I are going to sit around the table with a martini (I’m not really a big wine drinker) and laugh about the days when I was pulling my hair out working non-stop at my current job and desperately trying to become a “real” photographer in my free time.

One day I will be a “real” photographer and as much as I want to get there now, I really just need to savor where I am right now.  Where everyday is a new opportunity to learn more about my craft.  Where every shoot is a wonderfully new and exciting experience, one that still makes my palms sweat and my heart race.  I need to savor the new feeling of when I know I really just nailed that last shot.  Where every beautiful picture is awesome and fulfilling and…still somewhat of a surprise.  I will never get back the feeling of booking our first paying client.  One day maybe it won’t feel so new and exciting.  One day I will be there, I’ll be that “real” photographer that I dream about in my head and that will be so totally awesome (yes I still use that word) but for now maybe I just need to savor the feeling of  waking up everyday and building the foundation that my dreams rest upon.

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